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英语国际音标表(Flash版)
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读读婚姻中的小幽默，貌似与恋爱有很不一样的感觉。。。。。
1、She was his secretary before they got married. Now she’s his treasurer.
在他们结婚之前她是他的秘书，现在她是他的”出纳”。
2、My wife and I have an agreement that we never go to sleep angry with each other. We’ve been awake now for nearly 6 months.
我和我妻子达成了一个协议：绝不在和对方生气的情况下去睡觉。结果我们已经6个月没睡觉了
3、My wife always lets me have the last word. It’s usually, ‘Yes.’
我妻子总是让我最后拿主意。我总是说：是。
4、A husband is a man with lots of small mouths to feed and one big one to listen to.
所谓丈夫就是要喂许多张小嘴吃饭还要听一张大嘴说话的男人。
4、He’s a bachelor by choice. Sometimes his own, but mostly the choice of the women he’s dated.
他之所以单身事出有因。有时那是他自己选择，而绝大多数时候则是那些他所约会的女人的选择。
5、Whenever I meet a man who would make a good husband, he already is.
每当我遇到一个我觉得会是个好丈夫的男人时，他都已经是了。
6、The only person who’s asked her to get married is her mother.
唯一想叫她结婚的人就是她母亲。
7、I think- therefore I’m single.
我思考–所以我单身
8、A wallflower is a man whose phone doesn’t ring- even when he’s in the bath.
所谓局外人就是那些电话从不响的男人–即使当他们在洗澡的时候。
9、A bachelor is a man who never chases a woman he can’t outrun.
单身汉就是那些决不追赶那些他们无法追上的女人的男人。
10、The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
婚前的日子相对于婚姻来说就像是一本冗长乏味的书的一段短小精悍的序言。
11、One should always be in love-that is one reason why one should never marry.
人们应该永远沉浸在爱之中–这就是人们应该永远不要结婚的理由之一。
12、Marriage is a very good thing, but I think it’s a mistake to make a habit of it.
结婚是件好事，可我认为如果把它当作一种习惯就不好了。
13、It destroys one’s nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
如果每天都对着同一个人和蔼可亲会使人的神经崩溃的。
14、What did you do before you married? -Anything I wanted to!
你结婚之前都干什么了？–我喜欢干的所有事！
15、The truth is, I regret the day I was married. -You’re lucky. I was married for a whole month!
事实上，我对我结婚的那天真感到后悔。–你很幸运！我的婚礼持续了整整一个月。
16、Did your wife have anything to say when you got home late last night? -No, but it didn’t stop her talking for hours.
昨晚你回家晚了时你妻子对你说什么了吗？–没，但这并不妨碍她连说几个小时一直没停嘴。
17、You know the honeymoon’s over when the groom stops helping his wife with the dishes- and starts doing them himself!
你知道吗，新郎不帮妻子刷碗而开始自己刷碗的时候就意味着蜜月结束了。
18、There’s only one thing that keeps me from being happily married- my wife.
唯一让我的婚姻得不到幸福的就是–我妻子。
19、Marriage is just another union that defies management.
婚姻就是一个反抗管理的联盟。
It’s Not A Suffering to Live
He and she were sitting face to face. At this moment, the landlord came in and asked, “Are you sure you do not rent the house any more?” He kept silent and she only shook her head. They were going to divorce, so it was obvious that they would not continue renting the house any more.
Then the landlord began examining the house. After looking around, the landlord screamed, “Damn God! See how you have ruined my house? The walls are full of nails! How could I rent the house to others?”
He said, “The room is too small and can hardly accommodate all of our things. So we could only hang them on the walls。” The landlord did not listen to him and turned around up to the floor。
She began looking around her familiar room. Four years ago, she became his bride here. On the night of their marriage, he felt deeply guilty to her, saying, “I feel so sorry to you for having you live in this small room. In the future I will earn a lot of money to buy our own house。”
The room was only 13 square meters with two nails on the wall next to the door, one for her to hang her bag and the other for hanging umbrellas. At that time, she threw all her stuff such as her bag and umbrella on the floor once she entered the room, staring at the whole mess and feeling terribly upset。
There were three nails on the left wall, on which hung his clothes yesterday. After he lived in the room, he removed all the clothes boxes and bought her a desk in the spared room because he knew she loved writing and drawing.
There were four nails on the right wall that were used to fix their wedding photo frame. But now there were only four nails without the frame. She still remembered he got hurt on his fingers when trying to drive the nails home. It was her who pushed him to receive an injection against tetanus in the hospital.
The landlord took a toolkit down and tried to pry the nails out when groaning at the same time. After the nails were removed, the walls were left with numerous holes. All of a sudden, she felt harshly heartbroken as if her heart was pierced through those holes and bleeding nonstop。
She sprang from the seat and exclaimed, “Stop prying the nails! We will continue renting the house and will only move away after we buy our own!” He looked at her with great surprise, and then turned round, tearing over his face.
She finally came to understand that marriage was like a wall and that all quarrels, “cold wars” and suspicions were like the nails on the wall. When all the nails were removed, only a wall with numerous holes would be left. But if all the nails were still in their own places, the wall was still intact and reliable. But in the past, what she saw was only those provoking nails。
They hung all the things back to the wall. He asked her, “Are you really willing to lead a tough life with me?” She patted away the ashes on hands and looked at the walls with loads of stuff on them satisfactorily, saying, “Yes! For me, it is not a suffering to live。”
【中文译文】：
她和他默默地对坐着。房东进来问：“你们真的不租了吗？”他沉默不语，她摇了摇头，她和他就要离婚了，还需要租房吗？
房东开始验收房子，在房间里转了一圈后，突然尖叫起来：“你们把我家弄成什么样子了，墙上到处是铁钉，还让我怎么继续出租啊！”
他不得不开口了：“房间太小了，东西多了放不下，只能挂在墙上。”房东不听他说，转身“噔噔噔”上了楼。
她打量着熟悉的家。四年前，她在这里做了他的新娘。新婚那晚，他对她充满了愧疚：“委屈你了，以后咱一定挣钱买大房子。”
房间只有13平方米，门边那两颗铁钉，一颗是用来给她挂包的，另一颗是用来挂雨伞的。那会儿，她一进门就把包啊伞啊丢在地上，然后看到满地乱七八糟的东西开始心烦。
左边的墙上有三颗铁钉，昨天那三颗钉子上面还都挂满了衣服。他住进来后就把装衣服的箱子给撤走了，腾出来的空间，他给她加了一张写字台，因为她平时喜欢写写画画。
右边的墙上有四颗铁钉，是用来固定他们的婚纱照的。现在上面却只剩四颗孤零零的铁钉。她记得，钉这四颗铁钉的时候，他的手不小心受伤了，是她逼着他去医院打了预防破伤风的针。
房东从楼上拿了一把工具下来，一边撬铁钉一边埋怨。铁钉被一个个撬下来，墙上留下了一个个洞。她的心里突然难受起来，仿佛那些洞是她的心，正汩汩地往外流血。
她突然跳起来：“不要撬了，我们还要继续租，等买了新房再搬。”他惊讶地看着她，转过身去，泪流满面。
她终于明白，婚姻就像一堵墙。争吵、冷战、猜疑都争着往上面钉上一个个铁钉，当铁钉全部撤去，留下的只是千疮百孔的墙。但是只要铁钉还牢牢地在上面，这堵墙就是完整的，让人可以安心依靠。而从前，她却只看见那些刺眼的铁钉。
她和他把该挂在墙上的又都挂了上去。他问：“你真的愿意跟着我继续受苦吗？”她拍拍手上的灰，满意地看着挂满东西的墙说： “不，这是老天给我幸福的机会。”
本作品采用相同方式共享 3.0 Unported许可协议进行许可。